7. Mel Gibson

November 3, 2000

It was a Friday afternoon and there I was at the Santa Monica Homeopathic Pharmacy, just buying vitamins and minding my own business. I glanced up on the wall and noticed all the celebs who had given their signed head shots in support of the place: Kareem, Magic Johnson, Mel Gibson, etc… Just then a guy snuck in under my sight line and crouched down, looking intently at the bottles of supplements at my feet. I didn’t notice anyone else in the store and thought it was a bit odd that he was keeping to himself so much since we were so close to each other. (I tell ya, sometimes these celebrities act like they are 3 years old. If they don’t look at me they figure I can’t see them either. Silly.)

I saw his profile as he looked at some bottles and thought, “He looks like Mel Gibson.” Which was quickly followed by, “Nah, I must have Mel on the brain since I was just looking at his picture on the wall.” It could have gone either way. So I waited. I wanted to hear him talk. That’d be the clincher. I knew Mel Gibson has an Australian accent so I figured if this wannabe invisible man did too, then it was him.

An employee came out of nowhere and brought me a basket to hold my collection of bottles. I said thank you and faked an interest in more vitamins where we were standing so I could get more clues that it might be Mel. He didn’t look so glamorous. And from my point of view the most I could see was his hair. This guy didn’t have Lethal Weapon hair. That would have been too easy. His hair was short and light, almost grey. The helpful employee slipped back into the netherworld and the wannabe invisible man walked up to the counter to check out. I followed since, really, I was also done. He and I created a checkout line but we needed a checker. He put his very full basket up on the counter  and said, “It really rattles.” I smiled at the confirmed Aussie and said, “Yah, mine too.” “This rattles more,” he said. He had 4 times as much stuff. ($300 worth!) He decided I wasn’t much of a threat and turned around again looking for someone, anyone, to help us.

After a minute or so of polite distance, I said “Um, can you do me a favor?” His facial expression responded with “Darn! I thought she was harmless.” But he politely said “Okay.” I said “Well, I have this celebrity photo album…” Again, he was clearly thinking “LAME!” “…It’s just a bunch of pictures of me taken by celebrities. Could you take my picture?” He said “Okay” totally unimpressed. He was surprisingly mellow. Quiet. Polite. Unassuming. Just what you would expect of a serial killer.

As I handed him my camera, he smiled. “Can it be of anything?” he asked. “Yah!! I just have to be in it.” “That could be a dangerous thing you’re asking for.” He started to get into the idea as he backed up to take a traditional photo of me. There were now about 6 employees in the store watching. (Where the heck did they come from?) Smiling, they watched. I said “It could be of my hair. Or just of my hand…” I stretched my arms out to the sides. “…whatever you want.” He said “Can it be of just your toes?” I said “Yah!!” And I did a Ta-Da! move showing off my toes. I think he took a full body picture of that – at an angle.

He handed my camera back and after a moment of deep thought, he very calmly said “….This is……a……pretty good idea…..” He seemed to be considering it from all angles. He continued, “….I don’t know that anyone…. has ever done this before.” I said “Yah, that’s what I hear. That’s the idea, really. To do something different.” He seemed glad to have heard an original idea from a regular person-on-the-street. I told him that some friends were telling me to publish this once it is more of a collection and asked if he thought I might have to get the celebrities to sign some sort of release for that. (I was doing a little on-the-job research while I had him.) He said he didn’t think so, “…well maybe…No. Probably not. But people won’t believe I took the picture.” I said “But ‘cha did!” He said I would need some sort of identification from him for proof. “…like my license, or papers.” I paused and said “I wouldn’t ask you for that, Mel.” But I would like to ask him what all those vitamins were for. Holy smokes! I don’t remember seeing any make-me-invisible-to-regular-people pills on the shelves, but maybe (with the fancy concoction he had) he was going to mix up some of his own.

A second checker opened, probably wanting me to leave his famous customer alone. I said “Thank you” again to Mel and went to the other counter. When he was done, he smiled as he walked past me and out the door. He seemed tired of his fame.

photo credit: Mel Gibson     © 2000 Rebecca Costell